Healing starts with understanding how you learned to survive
If you've ever wondered why you shut down, people-please, push everyone away, or feel like something is wrong with you, there's usually a reason. Those patterns once helped you get through something hard. They were smart adaptations, not flaws.
My work is about getting curious about those patterns together, gently and at your pace. The goal isn't to fix you. It's to help you reconnect with the parts of yourself that had to go quiet so you could cope, and to feel more like yourself again.
My approach is informed by the NeuroAffective Relational Model (NARM), a therapy designed for complex and developmental trauma.
What is NARM?
NARM was developed by Dr. Laurence Heller to help people heal from trauma that builds up over time. That includes growing up without enough safety, acceptance, or emotional support, not only single frightening events.
A few ideas guide this approach:
Your survival strategies made sense. When young people don't get what they need, they adapt. They might disconnect from feelings, become fiercely independent, or stay on high alert. These strategies protected you then, even if they get in the way now.
Shame and self-judgment are part of the trauma, not the truth about you. Messages like "I'm too much" or "I don't belong" often come from what happened to you. Therapy helps loosen their grip.
The focus is on the present. We don't have to relive every painful memory to heal. We look at how the past is showing up right now, in your thoughts, emotions, body, and relationships.
You already have strengths. NARM pays attention to your capacity for connection and resilience, not just your pain.
You're in charge of the direction. Therapy follows what you want for yourself. I'm a guide and collaborator, not the expert on your life.
What sessions look like
Our work together is a conversation, not a lecture or a checklist. Here's what you can expect:
We start with what you want. Each session, we get clear on what matters most to you right now, so our time stays focused on your goals.
We get curious, not critical. I'll ask questions that help you notice patterns, like what happens inside you when you feel rejected or overwhelmed. There's no wrong answer.
We notice your body, too. Trauma lives in the nervous system as well as the mind. Sometimes we'll pause to notice tension, breath, or a sense of calm, so you can learn what helps you feel steady.
We move at your pace. Nothing is forced. You decide what to share and when. Slow, steady progress lasts longer than pushing too fast.
We build on what's working. When you feel even a small shift, like more ease, clarity, or self-compassion, we take time to notice it so it can grow.
I also bring in practical tools for managing big emotions when they're helpful, including [any other methods you use, such as DBT skills or mindfulness].
Why this approach fits LGBTQ+ teens, young adults, and families
For teens and young adults
Many LGBTQ+ young people grow up hearing, directly or indirectly, that something about them isn't okay. Over time, those messages can turn inward as shame, anxiety, or a sense of not belonging. You might hide parts of yourself, stay on guard, or feel disconnected without knowing why.
This approach doesn't ask you to explain or defend who you are. Instead, we look at how those experiences shaped you, and we make room for the parts of you that had to hide. The aim is more self-acceptance and an easier sense of being yourself.
For parents
NARM's focus on relationships makes it a strong fit for parent support. In parent sessions, we explore what comes up for you as you support your child, including worry, grief, or old patterns from your own upbringing. When you feel more grounded, it becomes easier to stay connected with your teen through hard moments.
Getting started
You don't need to know what kind of trauma you've experienced or have the right words to begin. Most people start simply knowing something feels hard and they want it to feel different.
Free consultation. A short call to talk about what's going on, answer your questions, and see if we're a good fit.
First sessions. We get to know each other, talk about what you want from therapy, and go over confidentiality, including how parents are involved for teen clients.
Ongoing work. We meet online, from wherever you feel comfortable in Texas, and build from there at your pace.
Zachary Guerrero, LPC-Associate, supervised by Elizabeth Land, LPC-S. Telehealth for Texas residents.