Trauma and Teens: What Parents Need to Know
As a parent, it’s probably been a while since you were a teen, but I want you to take a moment to think back on your childhood/adolescent years. What were those years like for you? What was your relationship with your parents like? Were there any confusing times when you were a teen? Navigating the times of adolescence can be a daunting journey for teenagers and parents. Including trauma in the mix can make development even more confusing and complex. Research has found that trauma during this crucial period can affect brain development, emotional regulation and decision making that leaving lasting impacts into adulthood. Why is this important to know as a parent? As a therapist, I want to educate of these dynamics so you can provide support and a nurturing environment for your teen to not just strive but to thrive with the tools needed for adulthood. In this article, we will explore the relationship between the developing teen and trauma, highlighting parenting tools to recognize your teens distress and empower their healing.
Understanding Trauma: Definition and Types
What comes to mind when you think of trauma? There might be something distressing or overwhelming even thinking about it. Maybe this is the first time you’ve explored this topic. There might be some biases or stigmas tied to it. In any case, I want to invite you to take a few, slow breaths before we continue – in through the nose, out through the mouth. Whenever you are ready, welcome yourself back to learning.
Any distressing event or ongoing events that overwhelm a person’s ability to cope can be defined as traumatic. Trauma can come from many sources, but common sources include physical abuse, emotional neglect, sexual abuse, loss of a loved one, or even witnessing a traumatic event. Not everyone reacts to a traumatic event the same. While one person may experience it as traumatic, another might not react to it as intensely. Additionally, trauma is not limited to one occurrence; a prolonged exposure, like ongoing bullying or neglect, can lead to a trauma response.
There are different types of traumas that have their own implications. While there are many other types, here is a quick reference list for trauma types.
- Acute Trauma: A single event that causes distress (ex. loss of a loved one)
- Chronic Trauma: Prolonged or repeated exposure to distressing events (ex. Long-term illness)
- Complex Trauma: Exposure to multiple events or types of trauma
For teenagers and children, developmental trauma describes early, ongoing traumatic events during a child’s development. Trauma during this development period can look like any forms of abuse or neglect that affect a teens emotional regulation or forming relationships with others. Additionally, teens may struggle forming a sense of self as result of developmental trauma. Understanding the nuances of trauma can help parents recognize the signs and provide the right support for their child.
Recognizing the Signs of Trauma in Teens
Trauma can manifest itself in a variety of ways, and symptoms may not be apparent or black-and-white in the diagnostic sense. But the common things to look for are sudden shifts in behavior, mood or physical health. Behavioral changes are the most noticeable indicators. A teen who was outgoing becomes withdrawn and reserved. Maybe a teen is exhibiting unexpected aggressive behavior in school or home. Other symptoms could include increased or decreased changes in sleep or eating habits. Teens can also engage in more risky behavior, substance use, or self-harm.
Emotionally, teens may experience anxiety or depression. This can include feelings of shame, hopelessness, or guilt. These symptoms are more challenging to detect, so that’s why it’s imperative for a parent to pay close attention to their teen’s emotional health and seek professional help when the distress is severe.
Physically, trauma can influence the body due to increased and ongoing stress. This may include symptoms as frequent illnesses, chronic fatigue, stomachaches, headaches, or restlessness. Check with a medical professional if these symptoms become more apparent and are causing distress.
Strategies for Parents to Support Traumatized Teens
Creating a safe, nurturing environment for your teen is one of the most important strategies for teens! This environment helps your teen feel seen and heard, and most likely, feels open to share the hard feelings. Establishing this trust involves being patient, empathetic and non-judgmental toward your teen’s struggles and feelings. They will be able to express their experiences without the fear of dismissal or judgement.
Practically, this can look like having a routine schedule for teens. This is especially important for a traumatized teen so they can feel secure outside of an insecure mental state. A consistent routine that incorporates mealtimes, homework, leisure provides that security. Of course, spontaneity and adapting to the family’s needs are important as well.
Other strategies include active listening and open communication for a traumatized teen. Anytime, a teen can feel free to speak to their parent about their concerns and feel validated after the conversation. It is important not to minimize their distress or offer advice right away. Ask questions that invite your teen to explain more about how they are feeling and reflect on what they are saying. This can simply look like, “This must be so hard for you to feel. Thank you for telling me. I’m here for you whenever you need me.”
The Role of Professional Help: Teen Therapy
Parental support is incredibly essential for a teen’s health. You know them best. You know they are a good kid. But in some cases, professional help is necessary to give them the best support for the complex effects of trauma. Therapy can provide tools for them to reach emotional regulation, build resilience, and learn how to form healthy relationships.
I can provide therapy that will help your teen reach those goals of learning how to cope with depression and anxiety. In teen therapy, they can expect to be met with no judgement and open communication, so they are able to freely express their emotions and experiences. In practice, they will learn trauma-sensitive tools that will help them regulate their emotions and feel more connected with themselves and others. I also provide parents with tools through consultations so we can partner how to best help your child through their distress. If you are ready to move forward with therapy and help your teen process their trauma, please feel free to contact me anytime!
